"We cannot teach people anything. We can only help them discover it in themselves." - Galileo
Recently I have had a conflict in my life with someone who loves me very much. Because of this, they have pushed a point of view so much that I struggle to even be around them for fear of hearing how I'm not living up to this particular expectation. It doesn't matter if the thing is right, if you push it on someone, you are still pushing. Usually pushing them farther away.
The quote at the beginning came from a TV show, and I mean no disrespect to teachers. Rather I would like to use this quote to help explain an old idea in present context. My loved one cares so much, pushes so much because they want me to be where they are and see how they see. Some of the lessons they have learned will be things I have to learn on my own. Support can come in the form of 'I know you'll get there, when you're ready, and I'm here for you now and always.'
Instead of what I feel I have been getting, which is more like 'why can't you just get it?' and 'why aren't you being smarter?'
I have to travel my own path and make my own decisions. I will accept the consequences and it doesn't change how much we love each other! You can disagree with me and still accept me as I am. I know you have been through this before, but I can't jump steps or skip ahead. Please just be there for me and make sure its a comfort and refuge to be near you, not something that exacerbates the struggle. I will not give up. I will keep on pulling! I want you there with me too, but I have to get there at my own pace! It doesn't mean you aren't teaching me or that you are letting me down, by letting me choose.
I hope you can believe me when I say I'm not giving up! I hope you will believe in me and trust in my judgment, or at least know that there is a creator who loves me too and won't let me down! Trust in Him if you can't trust in me. I don't know how to help you not worry, I do it too! I worry about you and want you to find happiness and joy in this life! I will work to be more positive, but you have to help me here! Point out the good, not the bad. Lift up, don't tell me how I'm failing your expectations. Love me, but don't beat me over the head with it!
Here, a thought: P-U-S-H
PU = something smelly
SH = shutting down communication
Lastly, a quote or two from a recent conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I see the truth and that the message is a good one. Have faith in that.
"I hope you are listening and see a pattern and hear a steady, consistent message that in these last days it is essential—even critical—that parents and children listen to and learn from one another. " - Elder M. Russell Ballard
"Most people in trouble end up crying, “What was I thinking?” Well, whatever they were thinking, they weren’t thinking of Christ." - Elder Jeffrey R. Holland
Miranda my dear, to this I would say you CAN learn form other people, you don't always shave to learn things the hard way. But I also want you to know that I know Heavenly Father sent us to Earth at a time when WE would learn the things that WE needed to learn in the way WE needed to learn them. So whenever possible, yes, try to learn form others, but if not have faith and you will get there. You will get there in your time, your won way, and with the help of the Lord and those that love you.
ReplyDeleteI love you and I am cheering for you. You CAN do it. I know you can. I am here for you and I will help where I can. Good luck, may the Lord be with you.
"Maybe I'm little and maybe I'm young, and maybe my learning has only begun, But Heavenly Father I'm doing my best, Just love me and guide me and I'll do the rest."
-From an old primary song.
He will lead and guide you and walk beside you. I love you.