I just want to sleep

I just want to sleep
Next to you

I just want to be held
Where the warmth is your touch

Wanting the cold to be our chilled skin
Needing you to drive away the shadows

However...I am solitary in my darkness
Hands reach out, not knowing how to calm
Unwittingly scaring already torn pieces

And the idea of you haunts me.

Not you, needing someone, not you
You hurt too much. Your light blinds and burns

Eternities settle into hearts long estranged

I am intimately acquainted with freezing to death on fire
And full emptinesses

And longing for a touch that heals
That chases all other thoughts away
Brings peace

And rest

I just want to sleep

Success today?

It is about 4:30 on a Wed. I have started the process for disability. I have started a 2018 tax return online. I have made it through all my emails and even listened to a friends podcast.

I have not listened to/read scriptures today. It is harder to keep track of where I am with the CD player. When I listened in my car, it remembered for me. Having lds.org read them to me can be monotonous and I fade in/out. I could do something for group. I have to do the 'tell my story' thing again. Boo. Grr argh.

Tired

I don't know when this is from. Just found it in my drafts folder...

This is not what I want my life to be. How am I the bad guy? Excuse me foe messing up your video game time. If we had been doing ANYTHING else, you would have cancelled.